Daring To Date…

Yosemite, May/mkd2016

I miss, I mean reeeeally miss the days before smartphones and social media. The days when meeting Humans was simple and natural. Attraction was instant; you saw someone and just went for it. 

Now you have to weed through a garden of soul patched; duck faced whilst flexing in the mirror selfies just to maybe- maybe spark a conversation (but not really because all you’re going to get is a dick pic and a request to see your ass). 

Back then, breaking up with someone was a breeze. You didn’t have to worry about changing all your passwords; seeing their face every other day under “people you may know” and didn’t have to delete a shit ton of photos from your phone. 10 years ago it was easy- just hand them a box of their shit; break that mix cd they made you in half and be on your merry “fucking over it” way. 

What do you do, when you want intimacy and conversation; depth and a bit of shallow; commitment but never tight strings? Do you wade through a labrynth of bullshit? Cross your fingers and just jump?How does this work? Maybe I’ll never know, maybe it’s just an adventure I have to experience and then perhaps, that one smile will come along and I’ll know.

I had a bunch of dates lined up with week, and after breaking out in hives-I’ve cancelled them all. I think, actually I know, I just don’t trust myself… yet. 

And that’s the hardest part, isn’t it? Trusting yourself in and out of love.

Forgetting a past lover is easy, but remembering and finding yourself again is one hell of a mountain to climb. 

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